Kadaj of the Irresistible Lips
by Akito Souma
Summary: Things haven't been easy for Kadaj since returning to the planet. He has all the normal worries of every teenager, like doing well in school and pleasing his guardians. And possibly falling in love... Starts out PG & will probably go up later. Read & Rev.
1. Flutter Butter

A/N: I meant for this to be comedy when I started writing it, but it's turning out to be a lot more serious than I expected. As I wrote it, my mind was flooded with inspiration for later chapters and I am now planning for this to be a novella-length fan fiction that is detailed and in-depth (concerning how the characters feel, interact and grow).

Please let me know if you like it. I've never done anything like this before. It's the first story I've written where things actually happen (that doesn't just center around the emotions of the characters).

Disclaimer: I own nothing from Final Fantasy VII Advent Children, or from any lip balm products. Or Sesame Street. Or anything that you think you recognize in this fic. It's all borrowed. And screwed up shamelessly.

And I should probably mention this too… it was inspired by looking at a picture of Kadaj and noticing that he had really nice lips. And possibly influenced by a video I saw on Youtube that was a spoof on Kadaj; he talked about how he loved his lips. He sang a song about it. Hmm… I think that's good for disclaimers. Correct me if I'm wrong.

_Kadaj of the Irresistible Lips_

_Chap. 1 - Flutter Butter_

"I love my lips." Said Kadaj. "There's just something about them that's irresistible."

He was looking in the mirror and putting on chapstick; he found himself doing that a lot these days. It was nice to finally have time to himself so that he could focus on his lips more often. He had always taken pride in taking special care of them but if he'd been completely honest with himself, he hadn't done the best job that he could.

All that was about to change. He'd very recently switched to Flutter Butter Lips lip balm.

He really liked the new brand because it re-hydrated his lips in a way that no other chapstick ever had, and it also made them look a lot shinier. He supposed the extra-glossy effect was achieved by the correct combination of Shea butter, mango butter, aloe butter, sweet almond oil, Vitamin E, and beeswax. All of those ingredients tended to add gloss on their own and of course when you combined them all, the effect was stunningly beautiful, moist lips.

It had been a long trial for Kadaj to discover the right brand of lip balm that would give his lips the care that they deserved. He'd started out using Blistex Lip Medex which contained petroleum, camphor, menthol and phenol. It looked nice enough when it was on but he constantly had to reapply it and it had the curious effect of actually making his lips drier when he wasn't wearing it.

He didn't like that.

He quickly moved on to Carmex which had all of the ingredients in Blistex, but also added alum and salicylic acid. Carmex was even worse. Puzzled, he researched it's origin as to the reason for it's failure to moisturize his lips and he discovered that Carmex had been invented to moisturize but was actually more of a drying agent. Which…didn't make sense.

Out of desperation he purchased a tube of Chap Stick one day from his local supermarket. This only served to make the problem worse since Chap Stick (as he later found out) is made almost entirely out of wax, which is not the most hydrating substance one could think of to apply to their lips.

He was beginning to grow frustrated.

At the encouragement of his brothers he began searching for a better brand at the nearby pharmacies. He went through Lip-Fix Crème, Neutrogena Lip Moisturizer, and Vaseline 100 Pure Petroleum Jelly Skin Protectant. None of them worked.

He spent many nights crying himself to sleep because he couldn't find something that would treat his lips well. They were so beautiful! They deserved better.

One day he happened to accompany Yazoo into a Bath and Body Works shop at Midgar Mall; Yazoo was very concerned with the proper care of his hair and he would only buy a certain brand of shampoo that was carried only at that store. Yazoo quickly found the shampoo he needed and carried it to the cash register. Kadaj followed him and stood next to him, restlessly scanning the display in front of him as Yazoo took forever applying his fancy signature to the receipt.

Kadaj gasped in delight as his eyes fell upon a tube of Flutter Butter Lips lip balm. He felt a tingle creep across his skin, and it was as though Heaven had given him a sign; Flutter Butter Lips was **his **lip balm. They were meant to be.

Excitedly, Kadaj knocked the pen out of Yazoo's hand--messing up the A in Yazoo's name and causing a slight frown to quirk at the corners of his normally-undisturbed mouth--for about half a second. The expression quickly vanished, and Kadaj felt a twinge of regret at having ruffled his older brother's cool in public.

"Buy this for me!" He said when Yazoo turned questioning eyes upon him.

Yazoo shrugged and tossed the lip balm onto the counter next to his shampoo. The cashier smiled at them.

"That's a very good brand, I hear. There's been a lot of positive feedback."

"I want it!" Kadaj said forcefully.

"Okay, then…that'll be Fifty-twenty." Said the cashier. And Kadaj's eyes nearly popped out of his head.

"All that for a bottle of shampoo and a tube of chap stick?" He snapped.

"It's always that expensive for my shampoo." Yazoo said softly. His eyes took on a strangely satisfied glow, as though the thought of fifty dollars coating his thick silver locks brought him obscene joy.

"Damn." Kadaj said, giving a low whistle.

"Where did you think I got such beautiful hair?" Yazoo smiled.

Kadaj studied Yazoo's hair, unimpressed. "I thought it was natural like mine." He said.

Yazoo scowled openly and Kadaj decided that it might be wise to shut up.

He walked out of Bath & Body Works a very happy little minion that day. He went straight home and dropped down on his knees and prayed fervently over a circle of lit candles. He then sacrificed to Jenova, giving thanks for her generosity in helping him find his long-desired perfect lip balm. He sang praises to her with perfectly shiny, moist lips and Loz and Yazoo looked upon the holy ritual with interest.

It had been a long time since they had had a proper worship session and it warmed their hearts greatly as they observed Kadaj's powerful spirituality. He had always had a way of lifting their spirits and inspiring deeper faith within them. It was good to see such gratitude shown to Mother.

They both prayed especially long prayers that night before sleeping, and the image of their High Priest's face glowing with adoration for Mother and an excess of beeswax inspired selfless thoughts of successful world destruction.

The very next day found Kadaj in front of his bedroom mirror, applying the Flutter Butter Lips and admiring the resulting shine. It had taken a while, he mused, for the balm to completely heal his lips from the damage that had been done to them by the inferior products--approximately twelve hours, in fact. That was all of his beauty sleep.

Now they looked glorious; indeed, they were the most beautiful pair of lips he'd ever seen. He gave a satisfied SMACK of the lips and actually felt himself go weak at the knees. There was just **something** about his lips! Shaking his head, he turned away from the mirror thinking that perhaps he was imagining the extremely-alarming level of sex appeal that was now radiating from him. He'd always had beautiful lips, but honestly…it was just crazy to think that it could have any real effect on anybody.

Humming contentedly, he walked toward the kitchen where the smell of bacon and eggs was making his stomach growl. He took his time walking there, enjoying the feel of the air brushing against his lips as he moved. He paused for a moment in the living room to watch the end of an announcement about how a business called Peace was now attempting to compete with Strife Delivery Service. Annoyed, he turned the TV off.

Kadaj hated delivery boys.

He finally reached the kitchen and gasped in dismay as he smelled the smoke from the burning bacon. He shot Yazoo an accusing look that went unnoticed. Yazoo, wearing the apron that Kadaj had sewed in his Home Economics class, was prodding at the bacon furiously with the plastic spatula. His face was devoid of emotion as it always was, but the fierce stabbing of his hand belied his panicked state.

Loz stood behind Yazoo holding the plate that was meant for the bacon; he was obviously distressed but he wasn't saying anything because he didn't want to upset Yazoo, who was already in the process of spazzing out.

Kadaj rarely worried about upsetting Yazoo. He could take him.

"You burnt the bacon…again." He said snippishly.

Yazoo turned the burner off and moved the hot skillet to the opposite side of the stove. He turned around to face Kadaj, ready with a biting retort, and stopped short when he saw him. He stared.

"…What?" Kadaj said.

Loz looked at him also and his mouth fell open. "Wow…" He breathed.

Yazoo was silent for several seconds and at last he spoke, through clenched teeth. "Fix…it…yourself." He untied the apron and tossed it to Loz; he then swept out of the room, taking care to flick Kadaj in the face with his hair as he passed him. Kadaj thought that was uncharacteristically immature of Yazoo and he wondered what was eating him.

"What's his problem?" Kadaj muttered.

"I don't know," Loz said. "But Kadaj, you look really nice."

"Um…thanks?" Kadaj said uncertainly, wondering if Loz was turning into some kind of perv. Obviously, it is not normal for brothers to compliment each other on their looks. But whatever. Kadaj didn't really care. He felt very strongly that rules were meant to be broken, so he could care less about people operating outside of social norms. And besides…the boost to his ego was much appreciated.

Kadaj held out his hand for the apron and Loz handed it to him with a stunned sort of look on his face. Kadaj ignored him and fastened the apron around his waist. He then picked up the skillet and started turning the bacon over with the spatula, hoping to find that some of it was salvageable.

He sighed, seeing that every strip was burnt completely black, and tossed the whole mess into the trash can. "Can't really blame him." Kadaj thought out loud. Yazoo was much better at killing people with Velvet Nightmare than he was at cooking--all of his homemaking skills sucked rather badly, actually. But that wasn't Yazoo's fault. Mother had blessed him with a beautiful face and lethal combat skills. If she had chosen to bless Kadaj even more, well…that was something that couldn't be helped.

He decided to pity Yazoo. Perhaps he'd even apologize for giving him a hard time when he saw him again. At least Yazoo had been trying. Kadaj respected him for that.

Kadaj reopened the package of bacon and tossed five more thick strips into the wide black frying pan. He turned the burner back up on high and waited patiently for the bacon to begin sizzling. Kadaj loved cooking. He also loved cleaning. Perhaps it was because he was very good at both. He had started noticing lately that people tended to like the things that they were good at. He thought that was very interesting.

The bacon began sizzling merrily in the pan after just a minute and Kadaj began flipping the strips over so that they would cook evenly. As he tossed the last bacon strip onto it's uncooked side, he felt the pressure of eyes on him and frowned, setting down the spatula.

Loz was still staring at him.

"What do you want!" Kadaj said, annoyed.

Loz blinked, startled. "Oh, uh…Nothing. I just…You have really nice lips. You know that?"

Kadaj gulped. This was definitely getting weird, he decided. "Are you…coming onto me?" He said weakly.

"What?! No!" Loz exclaimed, blushing. "I wouldn't do that. You're my brother. And you're like…six years younger than me. I just mean--I don't know--your lips…they're like, shiny and soft-looking and just…**so** beautiful. I can't stop staring at them. I can't help the way I feel!"

This blunt statement made Kadaj feel a little bit uncomfortable. He decided that the least awkward thing to do would be to pretend that he hadn't heard Loz. He turned his attention back to cooking and minutes later, as they were devouring the perfectly cooked meal prepared by Kadaj, the weirdness of their previous interaction was forgotten.

…Except for the fact that Loz was still staring avidly at his lips. Kadaj quickly excused himself.

He decided to take a walk downtown and see who was out and about. With faithful lip balm in hand, he started out, sidling down the street at a lazy pace. It was a bright, sunny Saturday morning and he had no school. This made Kadaj very happy. He loved learning but he hated school. There were too many stupid rules and most of the teachers didn't know what they were talking about. Kadaj was smarter than everyone else there and that quickly earned him the resentment of the teachers, as well as his peers. Which…it might not have, except Kadaj couldn't keep his mouth shut when he needed to. He could never resist showing off his superior intellect and that got him into a lot of trouble. Loz and Yazoo were always getting complaints from the school about Kadaj's poor behavior; Yazoo usually took those calls since he had better social skills and was sometimes obligated to act like he cared. But they were both used to it by now and didn't expect Kadaj to change.

And he wouldn't.

Kadaj smirked as he walked, thinking about how phony the teachers at his school were. They pretended to care about his well-being but they really couldn't wait to get rid of him. "Behave yourself if you want to graduate." They told him. They said that because they didn't want to get stuck with him for another year and behaving badly was putting him on that course.

Being sixteen sucked in a lot of ways, he thought. First of all, he had to put up with everybody bossing him around and telling him that they knew what was best for him. Kadaj was a prodigy; everybody knew that. He had wisdom, passion and drive beyond his years. He had done things in his short lifetime that most people only dreamed of doing. One day of committed planning on his part had nearly led to the successful destruction of a dying world. Unfortunately…certain spiky-haired busybodies didn't know when to quit.

He sighed as he thought about that particularly painful aspect of his past that had landed him in Midgar High School with a Bad Boy label stamped on his forehead. People could never seem to look past the fact that he and his brothers had nearly killed them all. It kind of hurt that they weren't willing to move on. It made his life very difficult.

Sometimes he thought the teachers were giving him extra homework to punish him.

Despite the amazing leadership skills that he had displayed less than a year ago as they sought to destroy the world, Kadaj was still, for the most part, treated like a child. And he resented that with his entire being. More than anything, Kadaj wanted respect. And…secretly, he longed in his heart for a love that was his alone.

He remembered well how Mother had chosen Sephiroth over him. That pain often kept him awake at night. He'd tried so hard, but in the end he hadn't been good enough for her.

He told himself it was because he was still young. He was worthy of her love…he was. After all, when had Sephiroth ever worshipped Jenova as avidly as Kadaj? He hadn't. Somehow, he'd just been magically predestined to be her chosen child. Exceptional physical strength and the circumstances of his birth seemed to have secured his place at Mother's side for all time. Kadaj never stood a chance.

But still….he loved his mother. He couldn't seem to let go of the hope that she would one day love him back, for himself and not for the things that he could do for her. He longed to feel her nurturing arms around him, and her soothing voice telling him that he was a good boy and she loved him. He sang himself to sleep every night with the words that he imagined she'd say, and Yazoo and Loz often snuggled up to him to listen to those comforting words.

They too, he knew, longed to be accepted and loved for themselves. And sometimes he told them that Jenova had come to him in one of his visions and told him that she was proud of them. She never said that. But Kadaj lied and said that she did because he knew his brothers would believe it--Kadaj had always been spoken to by Mother--she had chosen him as her High Priest. And she communicated with him more directly than she ever had with his brothers. He took advantage of this and told them that she said things she didn't because…he didn't want them to cry like he did.

He thought that perhaps it was a sin to put words in Mother's mouth. But he kept on doing it. That was probably why she didn't love him.

Aside from the love that Kadaj craved to fill the void inside of him, he wished for respect. It wasn't his fault that he was only sixteen. Did being a teenager automatically mean that people could jerk him around whenever they felt like it? He was tired of listening to lectures about how he was ruining any chance of having a pleasant future. He didn't want to conform and the pressure to do so was building every day. At school, at home…

Loz and Yazoo had always been pretty good about respecting him. It wasn't that long ago that they were the ones taking orders from him and looking to him for guidance in everything. But now that the war was over and they had lost, they seemed to be taking all of their frustrations out on him. Yazoo in particular. Loz was usually in a good mood. It really seemed to get under Yazoo's skin though that Kadaj hadn't been able to lead them to victory.

Being a failure made it hard to look in the mirror sometimes.

Apparently they felt that way too, and they were making things worse for Kadaj just because they could. Perhaps, in some twisted way, it made them feel better about themselves. Whatever the reason, he had to put up with their increasing nastiness every day.

Yazoo's voice bitching at him to take out the trash, do the dishes, do his homework, blah blah blah, was constantly grating on his nerves. Loz stood around backing him up, scolding Kadaj when he didn't move fast enough for Yazoo's liking. The only way to get them to shut up usually was to remind them that technically they were beneath him, and not as strong as him either, so he had every right and ability to kick their asses if he chose.

Outbursts like that usually bought him about five minutes of peace.

Lately strange things seemed to be happening inside of Kadaj's body. Perhaps it was a result of stress from being nagged all the time, but he'd been waking up with his sensitive private parts aching from hardness that had occurred sometime during the night. Disturbing dreams about naked people, that he could never remember very clearly seemed to be the main source of this discomfort, and he had taken to washing the sheets early every morning before Yazoo and Loz woke up.

He was so embarrassed about how strange his body was acting and he didn't want anyone to find out, in case he was some kind of freak. Perhaps it was some effect of being born from a test tube rather than the natural way. Kadaj knew that something called sex made babies, but he didn't know exactly what that was and he didn't want to ask anyone if case he should already know. He wished this was something he could learn from school but he had registered late in the year and missed the Sex ed. Classes. Now he had to deal with this awkwardness on his own.

Besides this hardness that happened almost every night, and sometimes during the day too, Kadaj found himself getting angry about things that didn't matter and blowing up about them at random moments. Sometimes somebody would just look at him when he didn't feel like being looked at, and he would erupt without warning, yelling and cursing against his will. He was not a naturally hot-tempered individual, although he wasn't extraordinarily calm like Yazoo, either. But he was becoming angrier every day and there seemed to be nothing that he could do about it.

Sometimes Kadaj woke up and he just hated the world. Everyone seemed to be out to get him and no one appreciated him. He knew that he was smarter and more creative than everyone else but they couldn't see it, and most of the time he was called crazy or rebellious if he bothered to voice what he was thinking. He tried to keep these feelings to himself but they were taking him over, and he was getting to the point where he didn't even care.

The only comfort he got these days was from listening to his music and admiring himself in the mirror. Even prayer left him empty. Sometimes he found himself getting angry at Jenova and that frightened him. Who could he trust if not his own mother? He scolded himself for having sinful thoughts about her, and tried to clear his mind of anger against her by drowning himself in loud, fast music and his own seductive beauty.

Kadaj loved to brush his hair. He could do it for hours on end, and when he was finished, he smiled at himself through his smooth, tangle-free hair and practiced pick-up lines. He liked to watch himself as he walked, too.

He hadn't told anybody, but one of the things he was really interested in doing once he graduated from high school was becoming a model. He thought he'd be really good at that and he tried to find out what he needed to do to reach that goal. He studied the topic on the internet and read magazines that featured the day's hottest models. So far all he'd managed to figure out was that he needed to be beautiful and confident and he already possessed both of those qualities in abundance. There had to be more to it, he thought.

After all, Sephiroth had been beautiful and confident and he'd apparently been turned down for his modeling contract. Something about being possessed of a violent spirit and a desire to do harm to others. Apparently, those weren't desirable qualities in the modeling industry and that ruled out the career of dictatorship out as a job on the side.

Kadaj was a little bit disappointed about that. He thought he'd also make an excellent dictator and it seemed that he would have to choose between the two careers since they didn't compliment each other very well.

He decided that he'd rather be a model. Models were admired more by the masses while dictators were typically feared and despised by most. Kadaj liked having lots of friends who appreciated his uniqueness so he'd rather pursue a career that attracted lots of friendly people.

He often wondered which of his physical features would be considered the most attractive if he became a model. He felt very strongly that there wasn't a single part of him that was unattractive--if he had ever thought otherwise, then the dozens of girls at school that had crushes on him had succeeded in convincing him that he was attractive in every way--but he knew from careful observation that most models had one particular feature that really stuck out and pronounced them unique.

For a while he thought it was his hair or his eyes, since they both drew a lot of attention. Loz and Yazoo shared the same hair and eye-color but he felt that the catlike shape of his eyes and the natural body in his hair were something that his brothers didn't have that made him special.

Both of those features were indeed beautiful, but one day as he was smiling at himself in the mirror, he realized that the thing that really drew people in and captivated them was his mouth--and more specifically, his lips. There was something about them…nobody else had lips like his. Their shape was extraordinary, and yet subtle. Their texture, color and thickness somehow innocent as it was seductive. Irresistibly beautiful. He loved them.

Since realizing how special his lips were, he sought to take flawless care of them. This was difficult to do because he needed a product that brought out the full effect of their beauty, while also keeping them healthy. He was determined and it wasn't long before he'd gone through every lip balm available in Midgar. Finally…he'd found the right one.

Kadaj smiled as he removed the cap from his Flutter Butter Lips and reapplied the balm. It felt good to be successful. He was sure that prolonged care of his gorgeous lips would attract the right agents in no time and he'd soon be the most famous model on the planet. People would spend a fortune on his pictures to gaze for hours at his lips. He couldn't wait for that recognition. Close as he knew it was, that day still felt very far away and he was itching with impatience.

He said a quick prayer to Jenova that he could focus on his present priorities and not lose himself in dreaming of things to come. Almost immediately, he felt her peace descend upon him and heard her voice in his head urging him to find the remaining piece of her body so that they could continue with their plan of bringing about the end of the world.

"Wait until summer vacation, Mother." He snapped. "I want to do well in school."

As though she were answering, a skimpily clad woman appeared on the sidewalk in front of him. She was very pretty but Kadaj could tell by the way she dressed and by the unsightly amount of makeup that was plastered to her face that she was a prostitute. There were a lot of those in Midgar. Apparently, that business did very well.

Before he could reflect on this at any great length, the woman walked up to him and kissed him deeply. Shocked and a little offended, he pulled back quickly. "What's your problem?!" He said, glaring at her.

She smiled and batted her fake eyelashes at him. "Your lips…" She said breathily. "They're positively dreamy…"

Kadaj scowled and walked away from her in a huff. "Freak!" He called over his shoulder. When she didn't pursue him, he allowed himself to relax. That had been very weird, he thought. In fact…so had been his brothers' behavior that morning. Yazoo storming away from him as though he'd committed some cardinal sin and Loz staring at him all through breakfast, lost in a complete stupor.

He gave a mournful sigh. It promised to be one of those days that left him wanting to kill somebody. Days like that often got him grounded. He hoped that the foreboding feeling within was just the result of cooking his bacon in the same skillet as Yazoo's burnt disaster. It wouldn't be the first time he had gotten food poisoning from Yazoo's horrendous cooking.

Kadaj continued his walk and tried to put the incident from his mind. More worries about school quickly replaced it. Junior-Senior Prom was coming up in two weeks and he still hadn't asked anybody. The hordes of girls that followed him around everywhere he went made him feel quite confident of securing a date, but he couldn't make up his mind about who he wanted to ask and he was afraid that by the time he did, everyone would be taken.

He'd rather stay home than go to the prom at all if he didn't have a date. People might think that someone had rejected him if he went alone and that would be unbearable. He loved being popular and he couldn't stand the idea of someone not wanting him. Mother was bad enough. He couldn't handle another rejection of his person, no matter what form it came in. He concentrated all of his energies at school on being charming and desirable so that he could avoid something like that ever happening to him.

Kadaj went through all the girls in his mind that he could ask to Prom and none of them seemed right. He didn't really have a crush on anyone and he didn't want to take somebody that didn't mean anything to him. He wished a had a girlfriend that understood him. Someone that would always tell him how beautiful and special he was…someone that he could spoil and take care of. Someone who would give him affection.

He imagined bringing some beautiful girl breakfast in bed. Giving her a massage and holding her tight…something funny happened in his stomach and he began to feel a little flushed. It must the sun, he thought. It might be wise to go inside where it's cool.

He'd been walking for about half an hour and the sun was beginning to shine high in the sky as noon approached. They'd had very hot weather, lately. Kadaj was very sensitive to sunlight, just as he was to any extreme weather conditions. Living in a laboratory all of his life had not prepared him for the hardships of the outside world.

In fact, he thought, the only thing he did feel properly prepared for was battle. The last time he'd felt really good about himself had been when he was clashing blades with the enemy. Those had been good times. And of course, they had ended all too soon. The mundaneity of everyday life was beginning to drive him crazy.

At least life in the Shinra Plant had adequately prepared him for his schoolwork. That was one comfort that he clung to; soon, he would use the skills he'd learned there to escape from this nightmare called High School.

He would graduate.

Not that anybody there was making it easy. Observing the behavior of the scientists in Shinra Labs had taught him many things, and when he'd taken the entrance exam for Midgar High he'd passed with flying colors and been allowed to skip several grades (he was the right age for the Junior class but he'd never technically gone to school before so he should have started out in a much lower grade). Even now, he found that the work was too easy and he got bored very quickly and found himself spacing out in class. Often he neglected to turn in the homework assignments and he had a habit of speaking out in class about how pointless the teacher's ideas about education were. This got him in trouble but he found it impossible to stop. He was angry that nobody seemed to take him seriously and he found himself sitting in Detention Hall nearly every day after school.

That was lame.

He didn't want to screw up his life but he couldn't help it. People were just being so dumb. What was he supposed to do? Re-educate them? He was doing his best. In fact, he'd spoken with the head of the School Board about being allowed to start a club devoted to Jenovaism. He was eager to convert the rest of the student body. The School Board was uncooperative, though. They told him there were laws against promoting what they called "Alternative Religions" in a public setting.

That was stupid because Kadaj had studied all of Midgar's laws and there was nothing written that mentioned the prohibition of the promotion of any unknown religions. And it was quite unfair that the Board was so adamant about preventing him from sharing his faith, because there was a LifeStream Club and a Magical Origins Club along with all the other clubs at school, and he thought he should be given the chance to share his beliefs with others if they were given that privilege.

When he asked why he couldn't start his club he was told that it had been deemed hazardous to the health of the other students to engage in worship of a virus that aimed to destroy them. Kadaj tried to point out that this life wasn't everything, but it made no difference. His request was refused and he took to standing on a table in the cafeteria after school and preaching to try and promote Jenovaism.

This scared away some of his admirers, but there were also many souls seeking the truth that expressed interest in learning more about his faith. Kadaj found this encouraging and he continued to preach until one of the teachers caught him at it one day. He was promptly landed in detention and given a viscous warning that threatened expulsion if he were to continue his advocation of Jenovaism.

Kadaj had stopped preaching for the time being, but he was merely biding his time and waiting for Mother to reveal to him a better way. To his great delight, many of the students that had listened to his sermons approached him in the hallways and during class, and let him know that they wished to learn more. He arranged to meet many of them in the safety of their own homes and the private lessons were working out nicely, but he still wished that there was a way to reach more people all at once.

He'd been thinking about trying to reserve the City Hall on a weekend night, and telling the Mayor that it was for a Book Club. This might be a good plan. He would look into it soon.

Kadaj exhaled forcefully. It was getting so hot! He was starting to sweat. And his throat was becoming rapidly dry. He would have to buy something to drink soon. He surveyed the nearby shops and decided against going inside any of them. People who worked in the stores often gave him funny looks. He thought that maybe they remembered him from the incident with Bahamut Sin a few months before, and that wasn't good because they might refuse to sell him anything if they had figured out who he was.

It wasn't easy being the High Priest of Jenovaism, he thought irritably. He was faced with persecution from all sides and of course it was worth it if it made Mother happy, but still…he shrugged. Might as well take care of his lips… Running the lip balm over his lips, he smiled again, feeling much happier. He was glad that at least his lips were finally being treated well.

His thoughts were interrupted by a little girl walking in the opposite direction; when she saw him, she stopped short right in front of him, and stared up at him adoringly. "Hey mister," she said. "You've got really pretty lips."

"Uh…Thanks?" Kadaj said, laughing. That was the third comment he'd received today about how good his lips looked. He guessed it was a good thing that people were finally noticing--it certainly made his chances of becoming a model look promising. But still, the sudden attention made him feel slightly uncomfortable. Oh, well…better to take it all in stride.

"Excuse me, little girl. Do you know where I can find something to drink?"

The little girl pointed at a bar down the street and Kadaj squinted at the sign on the front, trying to make out the letters in the blazing sun. The Seventh Heaven, it said. He nodded in satisfaction. That sounded like a good place to chill.

"Thanks." He said.

She held out her arms to him in reply and looked at him expectantly. What did she want? A hug? A piggyback ride? He leaned down and picked her up, holding her to him somewhat awkwardly. She smiled and touched his mouth gently, in awe of his soft, shiny lips.

"Pretty." She said again.

He nodded. "That's right. I've got the prettiest lips in the world." He started walking toward the Seventh Heaven, carrying the little girl with him. "What's your name?" He asked her.

"Valerie." She said. "I'm three."

"Wow, you're a big girl, aren't you?" He said, humoring her.

She nodded, her eyes never leaving his face. He wondered who her parents were and why they let her play in the streets. Perhaps she was an orphan. If that were the case, someone should still be looking after her. He'd heard that there was an orphanage somewhere around here.

"Where are your Mommy and Daddy?" He asked.

"I don't know." She replied.

He thought she sounded a little bit sad when she said this so he decided to drop the subject. No sense in making the kid cry.

He wondered if it looked odd to the other people outside that he was carrying around a kid that wasn't his. Not that most of them would know who she was, so they probably couldn't prove that she didn't belong with him. He found the idea of keeping her very pleasant. Kadaj loved kids although he wasn't around them very often. Their innocence reminded him of the childhood that he never had and he found himself wanting to protect them.

Still, he should find out who she belonged to so that he could return her. Maybe someone inside here would know who her caretakers were, he thought as he walked into the Seventh Heaven.

It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the dim lighting inside the bar. He walked further in a little bit uncertainly, wondering if the bartender would serve him anything since he was underage. He hoped so because he felt as though he might die of thirst very soon.

"I'm not sure I should bring you in here," Kadaj told Valerie. His voice drew the attention of the bartender and her customers. One of which was Cloud Strife. And…the bartender was Tifa Lockheart.

Kadaj gulped. It seemed that the temperature in the bar dropped by several degrees. He found himself grinning cockily and saying, "Well, well, if it isn't the goodie-goodies who wrecked Mother's plans."

Cloud set his drink down and stood up, his hand clapped to the hilt of his sword threateningly. "Kadaj." He said. "Let her go."

Kadaj was suddenly assaulted by memories of his return from the LifeStream. When Aerith had decided, a mere day after she'd adopted them, that he and his brothers needed a chance to redeem themselves before they remained in the LifeStream, she had brought them back to her church. Cloud had been there, and he'd been very angry to find out why they'd come back. They didn't deserve a second chance, he said.

He looked at Kadaj very strangely when he said this. He didn't look angry. More hurt, somehow. As though Kadaj's vendetta against him and his friends had been personal. Kadaj perceived from his words and his aggressive behavior though, that he was indeed angry. Cloud nearly attacked them, but it seemed that Aerith was speaking to him and telling him to let them go in peace.

Kadaj understood what it was like to hear voices in your head. He found himself feeling sorry for Cloud as the obvious conflict showed on his face.

Cloud let them go that day with the warning that he'd kill them if they ever crossed paths again. Kadaj wanted to fight, but Yazoo and Loz seemed quite content to leave Cloud behind and explore the world that had mystified them before. Kadaj quickly forgot about their encounter with Cloud in the excitement of enrolling in High School and moving into a brand-new apartment.

Loz and Yazoo found work to pay Rent and Utilities; Loz, working in one of the Oil Mines, harvesting newly discovered oil with the other miners, and Yazoo working as a receptionist at a beauty salon called Show and Tell. He hated it there because his manager, Nancy, was a bitch. She was always making him stay after hours and do other people's work beside his own (even hers). She didn't appreciate him. Kadaj often visited him there and found him drawing pictures of guns. Yazoo said it was because he wanted to go into the Weapons Design industry, but Kadaj thought maybe it was because he wanted to shoot Nancy.

He thought it was a little strange that Yazoo kept Velvet Nightmare in the inside pocket of his jacket when he worked at Show and Tell.

Yazoo claimed that it was just for reference.

Loz seemed to like his job okay, and Yazoo was very good at putting up with his. Both jobs paid well, and they had a lot of fun at first shopping for new furniture for their apartment. As a special treat, they bought Kadaj a portable CD Player along with his futon, dresser and bedroom mirror. Kadaj saved his allowance every week for new CD's. Rock music was his favorite. He sometimes dreamed of becoming a rock star. He thought maybe that would interfere with Jenova's plans, so he didn't allow himself to think of it too often.

Their new life was good, he supposed. It felt nice to have something normal. He couldn't help resenting Aerith for her choice in sending them back, though. He had thought that she loved him. When she sent him away it was like she was saying that she didn't want him after all and that hurt. He didn't know if his brothers felt the same way. He hadn't asked them because he didn't really want to talk about it. But he found himself wanting to hurt Aerith back because she had rejected him, so he found himself reverting back to his old religion.

It wasn't hard to convince Yazoo and Loz to join him. They were all connected to Mother very deeply still and could feel her calling to them. Kadaj became determined to carry out Mother's wishes if it was the last thing he did.

"Hey." Cloud said, calling his attention back to the present. "I said let her go."

Kadaj frowned. "**Let her go**?" He repeated. "Easy for **you **to say, she didn't betray **you**--" Abruptly, he realized that Cloud was talking about Valerie and he sneered, holding her tighter. "**Oh**, you mean **her**." He said snidely.

"Kadaj, I 'm warning you, if you hurt her--"

"Oh, come off it, Brother. You don't honestly think I'm still out to kill all of your precious loved ones do you?" Kadaj laughed. "Besides…I like children." He gave Valerie a firm kiss on the forehead and set her down.

"So much that you'd brainwash them all to do your bidding, right?" Tifa spoke up, eyeing Kadaj with obvious disgust.

"Oh, hello there, **Tiffa**." Kadaj said, purposely butchering her name as he moved into the light.

"It's Tifa." She snapped automatically. But her eyes widened as she saw him properly. "Wow."

"Yes, I know." Kadaj said, laughing obnoxiously. "You'd forgotten how gorgeous I am."

"Actually, I've never seen you up close before." Tifa said seriously. "I didn't realize that you had such nice…uh…lips."

Kadaj stared at her blankly. What was going on? People talked about his lips. They said things…he didn't understand it. He knew he looked good, but honestly…there must be an explanation for this.

He decided to play it cool.

"Well, I do." He said, as though her comment hadn't fazed him at all.

"Hmm." She smiled. Apparently his conceit amused her. "May I ask what brand of chap stick you use?" She said.

"I don't use Chap Stick of any kind." He answered smugly. "It dries your lips out."

"Really? I didn't know that." She said, sounding genuinely interested.

He nodded. "That's right. Now I use…this."

He set his lip balm on the counter in front of her and she picked it up, studying the label. "Flutter Butter Lips," she read. And then she laughed. "Kadaj, you're such a girl!"

"…Excuse me?" He said. He should be offended by that, he thought. He didn't really care, though.

"It's true. I can't believe you bought this." She said, laughing at him.

"Well, excuse me." He said huffily. "It works doesn't it?"

"Yeah…I guess. You look pretty good."

He smiled. "Besides…I didn't buy it, Yazoo bought it for me."

"How are they?" She asked him cautiously, obviously attempting to make friendly conversation.

Out of the corner of his eye, Kadaj could see Cloud watching them converse. He decided to go along with Tifa's unspoken offer of a truce. What was the use in holding a grudge? It wasn't like he could take back the way things had turned out. Avalanche had won and there was really nothing he could do about it. He might as well try for a peaceful future.

"They're doing well. They're working and I'm going to school." Kadaj said.

"Oh? At the University?"

"No." He laughed. "At the High School."

Tifa looked at him in surprise. "How old are you, Kadaj?"

"I'm sixteen."

"Wow."

"How old did you think I was?"

"Twenty something? You look older."

He smiled and looked at Cloud, trying to include him in the conversation. "People always say that. What they mean is they **wish **I was older."

He and Tifa laughed but Cloud frowned and looked away. _What's his problem_, Kadaj thought. _I'm trying to be nice_.

"What about you?" Kadaj said. "How's business going?"

"Pretty well." Tifa smiled. "Thanks for asking."

"Sure." Kadaj looked at Valerie, who was struggling to climb onto the stool next to him. He bent down and lifted her onto the stool and she beamed at him.

"Mom." She said. "This is Mister Pretty."

Tifa laughed. "His name is Kadaj, honey."

Kadaj looked up in surprise. "Wow. She's your kid. With…him?" He looked questioningly at Cloud, who outright scowled and averted his eyes, concentrating intently on the drink in front of him.

_Some people don't know how to forgive and forget, _Kadaj thought irritably.

"No." Tifa said, blushing without smiling. "She's not mine, but she does live with us in the orphanage here. I let the kids call me Mom sometimes because they don't have one. I know I shouldn't…"

"Oh." Kadaj said, surprised. "The orphanage is here?"

"Yeah, it's upstairs above the bar."

"Wow. You're ambitious."

"Heh. Not really. We care, is all. The kids don't have any place to go. We try to change that."

"So you don't get paid for taking them in?"

"No. And that's not really the issue. We don't mind paying for their needs. The important thing is that they're provided for."

"That's really nice of you." Kadaj said sincerely.

Tifa smiled. "Thanks. It's not anything we don't want to do."

"That's really good of you anyway, though. And even letting them call you Mom. That's nice. I know…well. It's nice is all." Kadaj said, feeling awkward. For a moment, he wished he hadn't brought it up. He didn't like to talk about mothers. Unless he was telling people how great Jenova was. His feelings about mothers…were very personal.

Cloud looked at him and his discomfort increased. Apparently, he'd picked up on Kadaj's reluctance to talk about the whole Mom thing. Kadaj felt unexpectedly exposed and he quickly changed the subject.

"So, can I get something to drink?" He said pleasantly, settling himself on the stool between Valerie and Cloud.

Tifa started; she'd been staring at him rather intently after his last comment, probably wondering why he suddenly seemed uncomfortable. "Kadaj, you just admitted you're underage." She said. "I'm not serving you anything here."

Kadaj smiled innocently. "Not even water?" He said, pulling a handful of coins from his pocket. "I can pay for it."

Tifa waved dismissively. "Water doesn't cost anything. And yes, you can have some." She said, turning around to fetch a clean glass.

Kadaj watched her pour the water from a pitcher behind the counter. It had ice in it, he noticed happily, so it was sure to be nice and cold.

"Enjoy." She said, setting the glass in front of him.

"Thanks." Kadaj said, eagerly tipping the glass back and drinking from it. The cold water tasted sweet. It was very refreshing and he felt a lot better as he drank it. His eyes met Cloud's over the glass and he lowered it, deciding to make an attempt at conversation.

He felt a little awkward at being stared at. He hoped it didn't show.

"I was worried about her." Kadaj said, using Valerie's presence to his advantage. Children could be a very good distraction, he thought. "I thought someone here could tell me where she lived so I brought her here. She pointed this place out to me, actually. Said they had good drinks. Funny that she lives here, right? I mean, since she led me here and I was wondering where she lived." He stopped talking abruptly, painfully aware that he was rambling.

_Damn. I guess my social skills aren't as flawless as I thought._

If he was behaving strangely, Cloud didn't seem to notice. He nodded and took another drink of his beverage. And was silent.

"What's that you're drinking?" Kadaj asked.

"Beer." Cloud said.

"Ah…good stuff." Kadaj said, as though he knew. He'd never tasted beer in his life.

"Kadaj, look." Valerie said, tugging at his pants leg.

He looked down, surprised to see her behind him. He hadn't even noticed that she'd moved. "What have you got there?" He said.

"Teddy." She smiled, holding out her teddy bear for him to admire.

He took it from her and gave the bear a hug. "Does Teddy have a name?"

"Teddy." She giggled.

Kadaj laughed with her. "He's very handsome." He said. "Is Teddy your special friend?"

She nodded.

"Do you play games together?"

"Yes."

"What games do you play?"

"Hide and Seek." She said.

"Is he good at that?"

"Yes!"

"I like that game. I haven't played in a while. Maybe me and Teddy should play it together. Maybe I should keep Teddy." Kadaj teased.

"No!" Valerie said. But she smiled, realizing that he was playing. She held her arms out for Teddy and he gave it back to her with a smile.

"She loves that thing." Tifa said, as Kadaj turned back to his water.

Kadaj smiled. "I love him too." He said. "Who wouldn't love Teddy?" He looked at Valerie as he said this, and she smiled, raising Teddy again.

"Teddy wants to sit there," She said, indicating the counter.

Kadaj took Teddy and set him on the counter in front of Valerie's stool. "And where does Valerie want to sit?" He said good-naturedly.

"Here." Valerie said, pointing to the stool in front of her.

Kadaj grinned as he leaned over and lifted her back onto the stool. She was so cute!

"You're good with kids." Tifa noted.

"I like them." Kadaj said.

"Tifa." Cloud said, pushing his empty glass toward her.

Tifa filled it back up to the brim and handed it to him, smiling at him fondly. Cloud did not return the smile, Kadaj noticed. But then, he didn't seem to smile much at anybody.

"Dad?" Valerie said, her cheerful little voice suddenly becoming slightly timid.

Cloud winced.

"Will you kiss Teddy?" She asked.

She held out the bear for Cloud to kiss. Cloud didn't even acknowledge her for a moment. He stared hard at his glass of beer as though hoping it would provide a diversion. Then, he reached across Kadaj and took Teddy from Valerie without looking at her, kissing the bear quickly and throwing it back, a slight blush tingeing his stoic features.

"Teddy says he loves you." Valerie said, her tone hopeful.

Cloud did not reply.

Tifa, smiling over-brightly, bent down and kissed Teddy firmly on his triangular brown nose. "And we love Teddy." She said.

Valerie smiled back at her, satisfied.

"Can I have some chocolate milk?" She asked sweetly.

"Coming right up!" Tifa said.

Kadaj watched her work feeling oddly content, as though he were part of a loving family and not just an outsider looking in. He realized that this love…the love of a mom and dad and their children--was the love that he'd been craving. He wondered if Cloud and Tifa were married.

When Tifa looked up, he realized that he'd spoken the question aloud. The look on Tifa's face answered his question before she ever replied. "No." She said. She said it lightly, masking the brief look of pain that he'd glimpsed on her face behind a façade of indifferent cheeriness.

Cloud showed no sign that he'd heard Kadaj or Tifa. He remained still and quiet as he stared into his glass; he was holding it with both hands but he wasn't drinking it's contents and his shoulders were hunched as though something were bothering him. His eyes never once flickered in their direction.

It couldn't be more obvious that things were tense between them. Kadaj thought that he'd picked up on some romantic feelings that Tifa felt for Cloud; either that affection was not reciprocated, or their relationship was extremely complicated. Either way, it wasn't really his business. He felt guilty for bringing it up since it was apparently such a touchy subject.

"Mommy loves Daddy." Valerie said wisely.

"Here's your milk, sweetie." Tifa said, pushing a glass of chocolate milk toward the little girl.

"Thank you." Valerie said.

Tifa favored her with a proud smile. "Good girl. You're welcome."

"You know, I'm not doing much besides schoolwork." Kadaj said suddenly. "If you guys ever need a babysitter…"

Tifa looked at him in surprise and Kadaj laughed, feeling suddenly self-conscious. "I promise I won't try to abduct them," he joked.

"That's sweet, Kadaj." Tifa said thoughtfully. "I'll think about it."

"Cool. Um…we don't have a home phone yet and…I'm not allowed to give out my cell number. But I'm sure I'll be around. You know…in the neighborhood."

"Where do you live?" Tifa asked.

15-5 Find The Way Street. Section one."

Tifa nodded. "That's a nice neighborhood."

"It's alright."

"You don't like it?"

"Nah. It's just alright." Kadaj shrugged

"I'm not your dad." Cloud said suddenly. He pushed his stool back and stood up, slapping some money down on the counter to pay for his drinks. He left without another word. Tifa stood looking after him with an unreadable expression on her face. Kadaj felt anxious at witnessing the exchange. Beside him, Valerie was beginning to whimper.

"It's okay, honey." Tifa said. "It's okay…he doesn't mean that." She came around the counter and wrapped Valerie in a tight hug. Valerie clung to her, a look of mute pain written across her tiny features.

There were no tears in her eyes.

"I'm sorry you had to see that." Tifa said.

Kadaj realized, a bit late, that she was talking to him. "No problem. I see it all the time." He lied, attempting to sound flippant. _No big deal_.

"Do you? Do you see men telling the children they care for that they don't love them? That they don't want anything to do with them?" Tifa said harshly. "Do you see them walking away like…like it doesn't matter…" She closed her eyes, breathed in deeply, squeezed Valerie tighter. "I'm sorry." She said again. "I don't know why I told you that."

"Everybody needs to vent sometimes," Kadaj said, for lack of anything better to say. But she seemed to find his words reassuring.

"You're right." She said. "Of course you're right."

She released Valerie and gave her a pat on the back before returning to her place behind the bar counter. When she smiled at him, Kadaj felt included, useful. He was glad to be there. He wished he could help.

He wondered what Cloud's problem was.

As if answering his thoughts, Tifa said, "He's always been that way. It was worse after Aerith died, but…he's never been open. I keep on hoping he'll change."

"You love him?" Kadaj asked.

She smiled. "Yeah." She said simply. "I love him."

"Why?"

She seemed surprised by the question. "I don't know. I guess…he makes me feel needed. And…it always seems like more is going on behind those eyes than he lets on. I find him intriguing. And…I just love being around him. I always have."

"How long have you known him?"

"All my life."

"Really?" Kadaj said, interested.

"Yeah. We've always been friends. He was part of Soldier--you'll know all about that."

Kadaj winced. "You could say that." He said, in a way that told her it was not open for discussion.

She nodded. "He's the same way. He won't talk about it. I guess…it wasn't good for him." She shrugged, dismissing it. "He worked with them and I…lived nearby. We played together when we were children--when he wasn't training. It was hard for him to make friends because he didn't talk. I was shy, myself. I didn't mind that he wasn't a big talker. We just kind of clicked."

"That's cool."

"Yeah. I guess. Sometimes I wish I'd never met him."

Kadaj raised an eyebrow and she laughed uncomfortably, reaching for a rag to clean out the glasses in front of her. "I don't mean I don't care. It's just…Cloud makes it hard for the people who care about him. He doesn't talk to me even now and I've known him for over twenty years. I consider him my best friend but he still refuses to open up to me after all this time."

"Sounds tough."

"It's the worst." She admitted. "He knows I love him, but…" She hesitated. "I shouldn't be telling you all this. I don't even know you."

"I can keep a secret." Kadaj said.

She continued as though that were all the reassurance she needed. He thought that perhaps she'd been waiting a long time to get it off her chest. "He knows I love him. Sometimes I think he loves me back. But he'd never say it if he did. He'd never let himself get close. It's easier to protect himself if he never gets attached. So…he keeps on running. And shutting me out. And the kids…they don't understand."

"Do you?"

She bit her lip. "That's what I tell myself. It helps me get through. Saying that I understand why he's doing this. I know that he's hurting too. Trying to make it alone. Not understanding that he doesn't have to."

"So he's like that even with the kids? All of them?" Kadaj said, looking at Valerie who was playing happily with Teddy, and seemed to have forgotten the entire incident.

"Yes. He does care about them--that's why he moved back in here with me. To help me take care of them. To try and be a father figure. He doesn't really know how to do that, though. Kids need affection. They need to feel like they're the center of Mom and Dad's world. Cloud acts like that's some huge burden, or a puzzle that he has to figure out. What's so hard about it? Just be yourself…" She trailed off, laughing. "Of course, that's exactly what he's never been good at. Being himself. Or rather, letting people see who he really is."

"Sounds like he needs some help."

"I'm trying--"

"Not from you."

"Huh?"

"I mean like…from a shrink."

She laughed and he found himself laughing with her. It was pretty silly, he thought. Suggesting that Cloud see a counselor. He imagined that; Cloud sitting in a psychologist's office talking about his insecurities and emotional needs. The idea of it was hilarious, and both of them cracked up knowing that the other was imagining the same thing. When at last their laughter subsided, Tifa smiled at him with gratitude.

"Thanks. I needed a good laugh."

"No problem." Kadaj said. "That's why I'm here."

"You know…I think you're right." Tifa said thoughtfully. "You are here to make everything better, aren't you?"

Kadaj shifted on his stool; that statement made him feel uncomfortable. Tifa, seeing his reaction, smiled kindly. "I was kidding." She said.

"Right."

"You know something?" She said brightly. "I think I **would** like it if you came over and spent time with the kids."

"Really?" He said, trying not to appear too eager.

"Yeah. If you still want to. I think it would be good for them." She said.

"Well…great. That sounds great." He said awkwardly, happily. "Thank you."

"U-huh. Just come over whenever. I'm always here."

"Awesome. I'll do that." He said.

A moment later he excused himself from the bar, bidding Tifa and Valerie farewell and promising to come back soon. He felt quite satisfied at having made some new friends. It felt good somehow to put the past behind them and work on repairing what he once would have considered an unsalvageable relationship.

He found himself saying a quick prayer for Cloud before he remembered that Mother hated him. That made his stomach feel funny. He realized that once it came time to put Mother's plan into action, he'd have to choose between her and his new friends.

He decided not to think about it.

As he began the long walk home, he spotted the hooker that had kissed him not twenty feet ahead of him. She was leaning against the wall of some shop, looking, he thought, for a new victim. She hadn't seen him yet.

Quickly, he crossed to the other side of the street and walked with his head facing away from her. Hopefully, she wouldn't notice him. He shuddered. That kiss had been awful. He probably had some kind of disease now. He should go to a clinic and get checked out for STD's.

He reached home without incident, and walked through the front door, whistling happily. He came face to face with Yazoo as soon as he opened the door and stopped, surprised at having his path obstructed.

"Where have you been?" Yazoo hissed.

"I was walking." Kadaj countered, tensing as he prepared for an argument. "What do you care?"

"Go and do the dishes." Yazoo snapped. "They've been sitting there since breakfast."

Kadaj blinked at him stupidly, surprised at Yazoo's unusually waspy manner. Since when did the dishes have to be washed as soon as a meal was eaten, and since when did Yazoo care? Kadaj always got around to cleaning them in good time. His brothers knew that.

"Okay…" He said, hesitating as he wondered whether or not it would be safe to ask what Yazoo's problem was.

"Hurry up." Yazoo said, pushing past him.

"Where are you going?" Kadaj asked, watching him walk out the front door.

"Where do you think? Work."

"I thought today was your day off."

"Three guesses who called me in." Yazoo said, his smooth voice slight with irritation.

_Nancy._

"I'll come visit you!" Kadaj called.

"Don't bother."

Kadaj sighed as he closed the front door, blocking out the image of his peeved brother hurrying toward the bus stop, ticket firmly in hand. He went in search of Loz and found him in the living room watching TV.

"Hey." He said.

"Hey." Loz replied, not taking his eyes away from the screen.

Kadaj studied the characters, trying to remember what the show was called. Oh, yeah. Sesame Road. The puppets dancing on the screen looked too happy and Kadaj looked away, offended. He thought idly that the television shows available to kids today were actually insulting their intelligence while claiming to educate them. Kadaj knew that when he watched shows like this back in the labs he had always been trying to figure out the subliminal messages. One day he'd realized there weren't any, and it had been one of the biggest letdowns of his life.

"What are you doing?" Kadaj asked, trying to engage him in conversation.

"Watching TV." Loz said, as though he couldn't see that.

Kadaj sighed, abandoning the effort. "I might baby-sit somebody's kids sometime," he said before he left the room.

"Okay."

"Don't tell Yazoo."

"Okay."

That was easy, Kadaj thought as he headed for his bedroom. Once there, he flung himself on his bed, overcome with sudden exhaustion. _I'm going to take a nap_, he thought. And then he remembered the dishes waiting for him in the kitchen.

He thought about the telling off he'd receive from Yazoo if they weren't done when he got back from work, and groaned as he pulled himself into a sitting position. He hated being bossed around. Maybe he wouldn't do them. Tell Yazoo to do them himself since Kadaj had fixed breakfast (without burning it).

He pulled out his lip balm and ran it over his lips, smiling. He felt happy now, he decided. He felt like doing dishes.

Flutter Butter made everything better.

_TO BE CONTINUED…_

_Don't forget to… Read and Review!!! Mwahahah! _


	2. Pure Morning

_Chap. 2- Pure Morning_

Kadaj awoke, sweating, and clawing at the open air; his throat was raw from screaming. The pale light of early morning filtered through the blinds over his bedroom window.

_Mother._

He whimpered, twisting in his bed.

"Kadaj!" His bedroom light flickered on and Yazoo appeared, Loz close behind him. They hurried to his bedside, one on each side of him, and reached out with loving arms to soothe their frantic little brother. But Kadaj's eyes were wild, and he didn't recognize them. He batted them away.

"Mother!" He shrieked.

"It's alright," Yazoo soothed. "She's not here."

He attempted to hold Kadaj still by force; Loz helped him, holding his arms down, as Yazoo embraced him and whispered words of comfort into his ear. Kadaj whined and writhed against their grips, tears of panic appearing in his eyes.

"Kadaj, wake up." Yazoo said softly. "You're safe."

Kadaj struggled harder and said words that didn't make sense, words that were unrelated to one another. Yazoo couldn't follow it and he looked to Loz, who shook his head helplessly. "Kadaj," Yazoo tried again. "You're safe with us. We're taking care of you."

"No!"

"Your brothers are here, now."

"…Brother?" Kadaj said, relaxing slightly. His eyes began to take on a gleam of recognition. He seemed aware of his surroundings.

Yazoo relaxed his grip slightly. "That's right." He said gently, smiling. "Brother. We are your brothers. You are safe with your brothers."

Kadaj frowned and blinked sleepily, going limp in his arms. "But where is he?" He murmured, sounding distraught.

Yazoo tucked him back in and smoothed his hair back. He wasn't even going to try and make sense of that question, he decided, kissing Kadaj on the forehead before standing up to leave. Loz mimicked his actions, kissing and hugging his baby brother somewhat awkwardly, for he found it difficult to be gentle with the teen who appeared to be so fragile; Loz had never felt at home in his large, muscular body.

Yazoo smiled at seeing Loz's efforts and he led him from Kadaj's bedroom quietly, satisfied that Kadaj was already sleeping peacefully again. He hesitated before turning off the light—Kadaj might be frightened if he woke up in the dark after having such terrible nightmares.

Yazoo settled for leaving the hallway light on and leaving Kadaj's bedroom door open by just a few inches. He and Loz padded back to their own bedrooms, Loz in his bunny slippers and Yazoo in his sock feet. They were quiet as they parted ways; they were used to this—waking up in the middle of the night and rushing to comfort Kadaj, to reassure him that he was not still back in the labs being tortured by their "counselors" with Mother's voice whispering Death in his ear.

They all had nightmares. After having an experience like theirs, it would have been impossible not to. But…for Kadaj, it had always been worse. He was not right. And they worried about him often, wondering if he would ever get well. Wondering if he was even aware of what was going on.

Loz fell back to sleep quickly, but in the other room Yazoo lay in his bed wide awake, for a long time. Thinking…

Hours later, Kadaj awoke, stretching languidly and smiling at the bright morning sunlight that filtered through his window in stripes of gold. He felt content, as though nothing in the world could go wrong.

The nightmares of hours previous were forgotten. He crawled out of bed, swaying on his feet with dizziness as the blood rushed to his head from having gotten up too fast. He laughed, amused by his clumsiness, and stretched again, sighing with satisfaction when he felt his back crack.

He had to pee, and he was hungry. But those needs were unimportant. He stood before his bedroom mirror, smiling. Admiring his reflection, beautiful as it was sleepy and sleep-ruffled. Thinking to himself that if he was someone else, he'd probably be desperate to be his friend. His lover, even.

_Beautiful._

"I love you." He whispered.

And he twirled around in a circle, throwing his arms wide, excited to be **Kadaj **in the light of pure morning.

_TO BE CONTINUED…_

_Don't forget to… Read and Review!!! Mwahahah! _


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